I’m white. Regular white guy, not trash, don’t have money, not a wigger, regular. I say n***a (<—- very clearly an “a”) when I’m rapping along to a track, but still not even in front of my black friends. There’s no need. My schedule usually allows me to look at my phone for about 10-15 min at a time max, so I almost never tweet. I just watch twitter like a tv show, it’s fucking great free entertainment. I follow essentially sports, news, and Black Twitter accounts, and my TL is solid pretty much any time. The last few days have been HILARIOUS, and I’m bored so I’m gonna tell you how hilarious, and give out awards. I really don’t give a shit whether you read it, agree, disagree, because I’m typing it, so it’s accurate.
- BEST BOOBS - @_Sepideh - No explanation necessary. I would enjoy seeing them more often immensely.
- FATHER OF THE YEAR - @MoJizel - Not of children, but of Black Twitter. Mo ran this shit until the last few days, until some outtanowhere chick put his business online, and mad people on here acted like it somehow affected their lives, got all fire and brimstone and tried to mop Mo smooth out the door. He may or may not be old. It’s been so funny watching the people Mo shits on the most like taking days off of work so they don’t have to stop tweeting about him. HAHAHAHAH. In about 2-3 days, everyone will be back to “@LMAOOOO RT @MoJizel @_______ Fuck out my mentions, bitch n***a”
- MOST VERSATILE - @DragonflyJonez - Tweets equally well across all subjects, shifts, and cultures. He can go from sports to comedy to slander, and include a bunch of different races in the @’s and RT’s.
- FUNNIEST OVERALL - @iDisrespectHoez - I don’t follow unfunny people (hoes that posts slutty pics for short periods here and there), but Alex is the most consistently funny. He shoots like 90% on funny tweets, has to have the most overall gems. Also doesn’t care about shit, so doesn’t waste any tweets on the TL dramas. I drink a shitload, so I fuck with his tweets. He also is roommates with Reed and Billz and those guys, pretty sure.
- BEST COMMENTARY - @SirTrillington - His shit is funny because a lot of it is just absurd. The whole twitter will be at war about the definition of a hoe, ass eating, $200 dates, and this dude will pop in with some shit like “Watchin the TL burn, drinkin whiskey” and then go on some rant about a completely different random subject. His haters tried to get him out a while back using the bought followers as ammo, but he just kept tweeting the same ridiculous shit and stuck around. He’s clearly a dirty piece of shit, but funny none the less.
- BEST STORYTELLER - @TheOnlyReed - People have tried to get Reed off Twitter like 10 times, and he just lets everyone shift focus to some other retarded topic, then comes flying in with a 45-tweet rant about getting chased by a dog or what you have to do if a burglar comes in while you’re naked but with socks on. Goes right back to normal, then a couple months later some NY dudes want to fight him again. His stories are fucking hilarious.
- SALTIEST - @TheLion - Seems like he’s probably about 47 years old, and he FUCKING HATES it if you aren’t his friend. He has a couple slander gems here and there, but mostly it’s pure vitriol, causing people to unfollow or block him, and then he gets REALLY FUCKING ANGRY hahahahahaha. It’s HI.LAR.I.OUS.
- MOST UNDERRATED - @QB_Hitman - Follower count should be higher, shit is funny. Corny on purpose with the “and don’t bullshit reply or I’ll punch ya grandmother” at the end.
- WORST OPINION - @Rik_Flair - No matter the topic, ol’ yella eyes will have the wrong take. Gets bullied pretty much every day, but hangs in there and tries to throw punches, admirable. Almost like he’s one of the cool kids at school but then fucks it up with horrific sports commentary, incorrect facts, trying to sound intelligent about a subject he clearly knows nothing about, or says things like “make me” to a chick. Seems like a good dude though.
- HONORABLE MENTIONS - These people are funny and contribute quality slander with the occasional run of gems:
Thasss my walker, punk!!